09/24/2021:
- Unfinished blog beginning: There is one tiny thing holding me together at the moment, and that is the idea of a vacation. We’ve talked about finally doing some hardcore travelling; Christmas in Boston, Japan next year, Spain or London soon after. But right at this very moment, realistically speaking, a few days at the Gaylord is on my radar.
- Reference to empty nest hell: GoodTherapy.org: Empty Nest Syndrome
01/05/2025:
I have more drafts than published blog entries and I thought I might revisit these guys. Although, I really don’t know why. Since I started this post on September 24, 2021, I feel like everything in my life has worsened. I mean it and I promise I’m not being dramatic.
I don’t want to be a bore with my usual woe-is-me crap, but I will say that empty nest syndrome (why is it called “syndrome??”) is a real thing. Like, really, truly real.
Things were a giant whirlwind in 2021 and:
- kiddo got accepted to an unexpected university. It’s awesome, but I was thinking that college would happen nearby. It’s in-state, but far enough to keep Mommy at a comfortable arm’s length.
- kiddo graduated from high school and got a job at a nearby deli.
- we prepped the house for sale, moved everything into the garage, packed what we could, and had so much rehab done to the house, so many upgrades, a lot of much-needed TLC happened that I didn’t want to move. I came this close to calling off the sale.
- one weekend, we packed the little Nissan at the end of summer and I drove the kiddo to university.
- I’m able to hold myself together and even get a hotel room and explore the town (city?) with kiddo.
- I’m able to hold myself together on the drive home and focus on handling the rest of the to-do list for the house and cats.
- Did I mention that we caught the cutest little calico stray near the deli and never took her to the animal shelter?
- So, so much more happened. Not bad things, just the usual chaos that comes with selling a house.
Side note: my next door neighbors decided to sell their home first, and I followed suit about two months after they started their process. I have never seen Jessica so stressed the entire decade I lived next to them. She even snapped at me one night. I don’t think she realized that she did it, and I shouldn’t have taken it to heart, but I did. I haven’t physically seen them or their new, nearby home since. It saddens me, but I’m not sure they care to have their weird ex-neighbor in their lives anymore. I dunno. Like so many people in my life, they’ve moved on.
When I returned from dropping kiddo at the fancy, beautiful, hotel-like dorm with sweet roommate, I took Monday off work just in case I needed a day to get my thoughts together. Turns out I was fine, but I came apart on Tuesday morning.
I tried to deny it when I woke up. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared into outerspace. I’m not sure how I even got dressed or if I bothered to brush my teeth, but I did get into the car.
I left home* earlier than usual to head downtown, treated myself to a drive-thru coffee, and, as I drove down the access road of 183/Bell Blvd., I realized that I wasn’t well. I wasn’t at all well. I was in a foreign land.
I took the next U-turn and drove my ass home. I pulled over briefly because I needed to call my wonderful boss–the kind of person who goes to bed at 9:00pm and gets to work at 4:00am. He picked up right away and I could barely speak. He knew that move-in weekend happened, and pre-approved my Monday off. Having raised two sons, he knew what I was going through. These days, he and his wife are retired and living the next phase of their lives: babysitting their grandchildren and enjoying their family.
I told him that everything went well, but “I can’t do it today.” Thankfully, Mike took over the conversation and gave me a little pep talk, told me to be careful driving home (at that point, I was about to burst,) and to “take some time.”
♥ To be continued…
* Since March 15, 2020, we primarily telecommute. However, my boss allowed me to work in the office as I was going a little nutty at home.