Today’s Q&A from Friday Five:
What is your most recent experience with caring for plants?
Mom in her garden. Slathered in organic mosquito repellent and wearing her bukbuk gardening gear. This woman could grow a rock.
I grew up with two parents who lovvvved to garden. Wherever we lived, we had a massive garden and tons of curb appeal. They gardened for the plain and simple joy of gardening. Plus, any excuse to buy gardening supplies fed into Dad’s addiction to tools.
Alas, I did not inherit a green thumb. I’m not a terrible gardener, but lack of patience is the death of my garden. 🙁 When I dig up a bed and lay in seedlings, compost, weed barrier, and mulch…the intention is so totally there, but nil follow-up. Oopsie! (Where’s my garden halo?)
We have our fair share of houseplants and even some herbs. They seem happiest when I simply leave them alone. (Really, guys??!!!) And because IG is my place for living through others, I follow a bunnnnch of houseplant feeds. My favorite: @confessionsofaplantlady
During the holidays we ventured into unknown territory with two orchids–one from the grocery store (there might be a chance with this one) and one from IKEA (sure to die). I knew going into it that orchids are fairly sensitive, and tried to talk my daughter out of getting them. (…stay tuned.)
When was the last time you administered first aid?
Never. And I hope never to have to administer ANY first aid. Fun fact: I am on the safety team at work, and they take safety seriously here. Considering where I work, the seriousness is a big “Well, duh”, but we also work downtown in a tower, so they don’t have time to play around in an emergency.
We have training at least quarterly, but it’s more like once every other month. We’ve had presentations from the Austin Police Department, the Austin Fire Department, and our own internal safety and fraud specialists. We received free CPR certification (card is in my wallet) and, overall, the various training has been very interesting and informative.
Next month we are having Stop the Bleed training by Austin-Travis County EMS. I’m looking forward to it!
Well…maybe I’m not looking forward to it in a way that garners the use of an exclamation point at the end of that last sentence. Truth be told, I really have an aversion to blood when I see it in movies or on television, and especially on the news. If I see blood on screen, I urp just a little and look away. 🥺
For sure, this is one training that I hope never to have to use. Something kicks in when my kid or someone around me has an injury and I can bow myself up enough to handle it…long enough to call 911 or rush to an emergency room. (Example: when my daughter got bit by a neighbor’s abused dog. Seeing the fat of her skin exposed on her hand… My demeanor was hard as a rock then, but internally I was a bowl of Malt-O-Meal.)
When did you last receive words of encouragement?
Pardon my grammatical incorrectness here, but: in everything you hear, even when someone expresses the best things to you and about you, it’s so hard to hear these words when the words you want to hear aren’t there. It’s pretty unfair to people around you, isn’t it?
I admit that I get a little annoyed when people can’t take a compliment or when I say something nice and don’t get acknowledgement. It’s not so much that I need some sort of return-praise for saying nice things; I just find it a little rude.
Identifying what’s rude and what’s not, and when I need to “let it go” is something I need to work on. Even though I’m a fully-grown adult and should know better, I am aware that I’m somewhat uptight about rudeness. And at my age, I still attribute this (and soooo many of my annoying issues) to my mother. Yes, I said it: I blame MOM. I also blame Dad a little bit.
Dad was a people person, but also strict and militaristic. Mom was flat-out uptight. Mix in an overdose of Asian shame and old-fashioned Catholic guilt and you have a Brie who doesn’t understand why it’s OK for you to let your kids speak aloud in a restaurant. A Brie who cusses with gusto in real life, but turns beet red if you so much as say “pissed” in public.
[Note to self: tag this topic to review for a possible ranting blog entry.]
Getting back to the point, it was within this last year that I received some solid encouragement.
I had been struggling with feeling unappreciated and under-utilized at work. There was also a disconnect with some important players. And I felt my intelligence insulted just a little bit. (Chalk that part up to Flinty Old Uptight Brie.) Oh, not to mention an awkward situation with a contractor, which I won’t discuss right now. (Everything is OK. It’s all worked out. No harm done.)
In the end, it was my male boss at my new job who told me everything I needed to hear, and I heard them with all my heart:
When I felt disconnected: “You are valuable to us.”
When I felt unsure: “I want you to feel empowered.”
When I had a sticky situation: “You deserve to work in a safe environment.”
Sidenote: if only more men said these words and stood by them!
When did you last hold a baby animal?
At Austin Humane Society.
Breaking hearts and impatiently waiting for his forever home.
BTW, Megabit didn’t wait for long, if you’re wondering. While we were there, at least three families were fighting over him.
Lisa, Grey, and I stopped at Austin Humane after another three-hour breakfast buffet at Trudy’s North Star. (We can talk story!!!!) When I laid eyes on Megabit…I just thought I was going to die right then and there. He was the most adorable, fun, sweet, alert, cute kitten ever!!!!!! omgomgomgomgomgomg
If I didn’t already have two high-drama cats and Charley the Best Dog Ever, I would’ve put myself into the ring of people scrapping for Megabit.
My 2017 encounter with Megabit was the last time I held a baby animal. I’ve had to put my foot down with the animal population in my house and avoid animal shelters, pet stores, and any event where there is an adoption happening.
The problem is that I have a teenager who is great with animals.
They really respond to her and listen to her sweet way of communicating with them. BUT. She doesn’t actively participate in the care and feeding of said animals without much gnashing of teeth by her Mater.
On top of that, we lost Charley to old age in 2018. It was heartbreaking, and it is going to be tough finding a dog that measures up to Charley, our sweet, quiet, cuddly protector. When we lost Tiki in 2012, it was rough. After losing Charley, I decided that I don’t think my heart can take much more.
For now, Malachite and Ferdinand (aka Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum-ass) are about all we can handle at the moment.
I say that now, but truth is that I could easily become a crazy cat lady. My daughter would enable me, too, so there’s that. I can see her having 25 cats and 12 dogs, and an icky collection of turtles, snakes, and tarantulas. So, no. Two cats for now.
What was your last alcoholic drink?
(Not the best pic of either of us, but at least we were clean and had our hair combed.)
Barefoot Bubbly Moscato Spumante Champagne. Lisa had come over for talk story time and I was happy to whip out a bottle from the beer fridge where I have a small collection of wines and sakes that I have either purchased or received from friends.
And I LOVE receiving wines and sakes from friends. And champagne socks.
One of the best gifts you can bring to a friend’s house is a bottle of wine, or really any beverage, water, soda, fancy juice, etc. The hostess will appreciate it, and it doesn’t have to be a special occasion.
And, just FYI, a “beer fridge” is Texas vernacular for the 2nd refrigerator, usually kept in the garage or outer room within the house. Mine is in the laundry room and usually contains a ton of bottled water.
Lisa, whose beer fridge is packed with all manner of liquor store goodies, doesn’t get the whole concept of bottled water and thinks the bottles are a huge waste. I get it, and I KNOW–the plastic is out of control. My kid and I are still addicted to bottled water, but we are sincerely and religiously trying to reduce, reuse, and recycle.
“Just drink from the tap!” Lisa says, pointing to one of her fancy reusable water bottles. This is not a good thing. Grey and I are also very much addicted to fancy reusable water bottles. Next to the beer fridge is a little door that leads to a little pantry with my hoard. 😇 Many of them are beat up and missing a lid, but I just can’t seem to part with them, especially my Bill Miller Tea Bucket! Because hoarder.
I hope you see that the desire to be encouraged or appreciated for the right things is sometimes the same thing as not being able to receive a compliment. If you say nice things about my writing, I will almost always say thank you. If you tell me I’m a thoughtful guy, I will resist. Not because I agree with one and disagree with the other, but because I don’t want attention for the thoughtful guy thing and most of the time what passes for thoughtfulness is really just decent humanity or even practicality. I’m not saying it’s not a flaw, but I am saying for some people, they’re just being like you. 🙂
Think of a moment when someone shot down one of your compliments. How much courage did you need to ball up in order to give the compliment? What was your internal reaction when your compliment was rejected?
It’s kind of like giving someone a gift and they don’t hesitate to tell you how shitty it is. Ana* did this to me, and my internal reaction was that she wasn’t so much rejecting the gift as she was rejecting me. I know she wasn’t rejecting me**, but–it’s complicated.
It hurts me to know that you would reject a compliment from me.
And anyway, what’s wrong with being acknowledged for being a thoughtful, decent, practical human? I’ll take it gratefully if anyone were to point those things out about me. Are you equating that type of compliment to being friendzoned?
* Name changed.
** Maybe she was. She immediately issued a somewhat unfiltered, bitchy comment about the gift and was crystal clear about how much she disliked it.